I've decided to give Dr. Therapy a new set of letters, "R-R-R" (the 3 R's.) This stands for "Reality," "Realization," and "Reaction." I think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy throws a "Rationalization" between the last two R's in order to allow one to brainwash oneself into the doctor's opinion of appropriate behavior.
Here is a hypothetical example: A woman gets beaten up by her husand. She realizes that this is a crime called spousal abuse. She calls the cops to haul her husbands's sorry @ss away.
I believe the above example is the proper application of the "3 R's."
In the brain-twisting world of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the woman could rationalize that her husband didn't really mean to hurt her by his actions, since all his other behavior shows that he loves her. Blah, blah, yaddah, etc., etc. As a consequence, she continues the cycle of abuse when she does not call for help or drops the criminal charges later.
A therapist probably wouldn't recommend the rationalization in that example, but it's the general principle of the ABC's to question, doubt, and/or deny negative beliefs about an action in order to change consequential negative feelings and reactions. Hence, while intended to shed light on neutral or positive actions, the ABC's can be used to justify bad actions as well.
Sometimes it's better not to overthink things, but whoever came up with the ABC idea didn't think it through all the way. That example was extreme. Maybe the idea of a kid who gets called names at school rationalizing that the attention means he is liked by the bullies would be more apt. Good intentions cannot always excuse bad behavior.
A boy who "liked" me in grade school used to come up behind me and punch me hard on the shoulder when I was alone doing homework in a classroom after lunch. I complained to my mother who spoke with the boy's mother. My mom must have known the ABC's, because she told me that the boy did this because he "liked" me. This explanation did not fly with me, but from then on I tried to ignore the boy and keep my distance.
Unbeknownst to me, my avoidance angered the boy. While I was still oblivious years later at a high school football game, the boy snapped and tried to sucker punch me in the gut, but a bigger boy saw it coming and stepped in and took a punch that might have killed me. A couple years later, the boy decapitated himself in a drunk driving accident. It's a tragic story.
