People don't get that medication doesn't cure bipolar. It may mask the symptoms. It may delay episodes. At some point, it will need adjustments or it will fail, and it might fail altogether no matter what.
When someone with this illness discontinues a medication, it's usually because that medication is no longer working or is causing more problems than it seems to be correcting. There may be some people who think they are better and stop taking medication, but why would you quit taking what worked if it was really working and really made you well? Seems to me like that kind of thinking is crazy thinking and indicates that there is a problem prior to quitting the meds as well as after.
For me, I get scared by freaky side effects. Sometimes bipolar medications cause permanent damage, and I figure there are enough medications out there for me yet to try that I think this justifies my avoiding what may be irreversible side effects of some medications.
The other problem is that my doctor is not available when I'm in a medication crisis, or he ignores me when I tell him that I think I'm getting depressed and need something new for that. This just happened at my last appointment. He said, "Well call if you have a problem." (I wouldn't be saying that I think I'm getting a problem if I didn't already have a problem.) I told him whenever I call, I don't get any help, and by then it's too late to head off the problem. He said, "Don't call on a Monday."
My therapist told my psychiatrist that I thought I would get depressed over the holidays. What I actually told the therapist was I thought I would get ill, like the flu, because I usually catch stuff from the kids and have for the last two years. This year I got a flu shot, but I think having 12 migraines in November and four days straight last week makes up for not catching the flu. Then my psychiatrist suggested I might have endometriosis in my brain. I think he may have testicles clogging his ears.
Part of the problem is if I don't immediately like a suggestion (like getting light therapy, which I don't even know if my insurance would cover,) he doesn't try to push it. I don't know if he's not pushing these things because they are really sucky ideas or because he doesn't think I will listen. Part of the problem was the doctor was behind on time, so he was rushing. I never even got to ask him about trying Abilify again. The conversation quoted above happened literally as he was rushing me out to the checkout counter.
Tags:
bipolar, medication
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